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Advice columnist gives perfect response to anti-gay parent 19 NOV 13
Myths About Same-sex Attraction 11-17 MAR 99
Upon Meeting A Homosexual: 10 Tips for the Heterosexual JAN/FEB 97

Advice columnist gives perfect response to anti-gay parent
GayStarNews

A parent who has forgotten their 17-year-old gay son's birthday for the past three years is looking for advice on how their teen can 'stop' being gay. Check out the amazing response

UNITED STATES, New York — An advice columnist has delivered the most perfect response to a homophobic parent.

Amy Dickinson, who writes a syndicated advice column, has written back to the parent who wants their son to 'stop' being gay - and it is amazing.

Not only has this mother or father forgotten their son's birthday for the past three years (they have a busy work schedule), they want their 17-year-old to make the 'reasonable' choice to be stop being gay.

Check out the letter from the parent and Dickinson's response below:

Dear Amy:

I recently discovered that my son, who is 17, is a homosexual.

We are part of a church group and I fear that if people in that group find out they will make fun of me for having a gay child.

He won't listen to reason, and he will not stop being gay. I feel as if he is doing this just to get back at me for forgetting his birthday for the past three years - I have a busy work schedule.

Please help him make the right choice in life by not being gay. He won't listen to me, so maybe he will listen to you.

- Feeling Betrayed

Dear Betrayed:

You could teach your son an important lesson by changing your sexuality to show him how easy it is.

Try it for the next year or so: Stop being a heterosexual to demonstrate to your son that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice - to be dictated by one's parents, the parents' church and social pressure.

I assume that my suggestion will evoke a reaction that your sexuality is at the core of who you are. The same is true for your son. He has a right to be accepted by his parents for being exactly who he is.

When you 'forget' a child's birthday, you are basically negating him as a person. It is as if your saying that you have forgotten his presence in the world. How very sad for him.

Pressuring your son to change his sexuality is wrong.

If you cannot learn to accept him as he is, it might be safest for him to live elsewhere.

A group that could help you and your family figure out how to navigate this is PFLAG.org. This organization is founded for parents, families, friends and allies of LGBT people, and has helped countless families through this challenge. Please research and connect with a local chapter.

- Amy

(Many thanks to GSN reader Justin Michael for the tip! He spotted it in the Press & Sun paper printed in Binghamton, New York. Photo credit: Nathan Butler

News cutting

(GayStarNews 19 November 2013 | Joe Morgan
Web: www.gaystarnews.com)

Myths About Same-sex Attraction

If you consider yourself heterosexual, try to remember the exact day you decided that you were going to be attracted to the opposite sex. Hard to do? That's because you probably never made a conscious decision - your attraction was "just there." Well, that is pretty much how gay and lesbian people feel about their orientation - it was just there.

Gay folks never decided to be gay because it would be fun to be discriminated against, fired from their jobs, or become victimized by hate crimes. Same sex attraction, just like opposite-sex attraction, is an "orientation," not a "lifestyle choice".

Another myth we have about being gay is that someone is or isn't gay. Sexual attraction is on a continuum between "fully heterosexual" on one end and "fully homosexual" on the other.

Another confusion has to do with masculinity and femininity. The myth is that feminine men have to be gay and masculine men have to be attracted to women. Wrong! Remember what the Village People had to say about macho, macho men.

Many of the myths about gay and lesbian people are simply born out of sexual illiteracy (a nice way to say ignorance) or religious dogma. Gay people are not out to recruit or turn heterosexuals gay. This myth is based on the misconception that sexual orientation is a "choice." What sense does that make? It would be like a heterosexual guy deciding that an out-of-the-closet lesbian will be his object of desire - it's self-defeating (unless you are masochistic).

Some people see same sex activity as doing something "unnatural." But there is documentation of same sex attraction and behavior in every species of animal studied in the wild. The most offensive myth about being gay is that they want to have sex with children. The vast majority of sex offenders in jail for sex with children are heterosexual men - whether their victims be boys or girls. Sex abuse is not about sex, but about power and control.

The bottom line for myths about gays and lesbians is that some people will cling to their beliefs and not modify their opinions despite any information offered. The thing to remember is that some people may always believe gay people are abnormal. However, an important distinction to make is that a person can choose to see gay folks as abnormal on a basis of religious training or personal values. They cannot choose to believe gay people are abnormal on a scientific basis, as the preponderance of empirical evidence does not support this notion.

Dr. Frederick Peterson is a clinical psychologist (in Dayton, Ohio) who specializes in sexual health and education. He provides services at the VA Medical Center, Grandview/Southview Hospitals and the Flexman Clinic.

(Impact Weekly | Dr Frederick R Peterson 11-17 MAR 99
1927 N. Main Street, Dayton, OH 45405
by way of Graham Underhill grahamu@rainbow.net.au)

Upon Meeting A Homosexual: 10 Tips for the Heterosexual
Whosoever.org

  1. Do not run screaming from the room. This is very rude.
  2. If you must back away, do so slowly, and with discretion.
  3. Do not assume he/she is attracted to you.
  4. Do not assume he/she is not attracted to you.
  5. Do not assume him/her to be as excited about meeting a heterosexual as you may be about meeting a homosexual. He/she was probably raised with straight people.
  6. Do not immediately start talking about your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife in order to make it clear that you are straight he/she probably already knows.
  7. Do not ask him/her how he/she got that way. Instead, ask yourself how you got the way you are.
  8. Do not assume he/she is dying to talk about being homosexual.
  9. Do not expect him/her to refrain from talking about being homosexual.
  10. Do not trivialize his/her experience by assuming it is a bedroom issue only. He/she is homosexual 24 hours a day.

(Whosoever.Org Issue 4, JAN/FEB 97
Web: www.whosoever.org)


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